Napoleon

The Little Corporal wasn't so little, or was he?

Napoleon_Bonapartes_portrait.jpg

Napoleon Bonaparte was very short.

Napoleon Bonaparte was no Danny Devito. After his death in 1821, the French emperor's height was recorded as 5 feet 2 inches in French feet. This corresponds to 5 feet 6.5 inches in modern international feet, or 1.686 metres, making him slightly taller than an average Frenchman of the 19th century (btw, Danny Devito is 5').

Also, his nickname, "le petit caporal", adds to the confusion, as non-francophones mistakenly take petit literally as meaning "small"; in fact, it is an affectionate term reflecting on his camaraderie with ordinary soldiers.

Now, just because Napoleon wasn't a munchkin doesn't mean he didn't have an inferiority complex. It turns out--get this!--along with also having numerous other ailments I won't mention here, Napoleon was cursed with what doctors call a "micro-penis".  Yep, you heard me.

According to Nicholas Hobbes's Essential Militaria: Facts, Legends and Curiosities About Warfare Through the Ages, Napoleon had a "one inch long penis resembling a grape". Wait, it gets weirder. Supposedly the dictator's organ was cut off at autopsy and eventually put up for auction by Christie's in 1972. As you might imagine, the auction failed to reach the reserve price.

Lord knows what the seller really wanted for it. I'm just glad nobody bought it. My opinion of wealthy, artistocratic antiquarians is bad enough without thinking that one of them has the little dictator's tiny package sitting atop a mantle somewhere.

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